ShoutYourHeadOff

Author: shoutyourheadoff

  • Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

    A comment by my daughter made me think.

    During many discussions about life in general, subjects crop up that many people do not want to talk about. One that is common is Death!

    I turned 70 this year.Hurrah! Taking into account all the things that life has thrown at me, making it upto here has been a journey.

    So will I make it to 80? That started a discussion in the kitchen, mug of tea in hand and thoughts of what the future could bring. Well, a war started and that alone has put question marks on where we’ll all be in 10 years.That question alone is a I know where I want to be, what I need to finish doing and the big question of health.

    I see challenges ahead, not insurmountable but never the less, still there. My daughter saw me with a backpack, two trekking sticks , wearing a windbreaker and my favourite woolly hat atop a mountain, no less!

    Did I see that? The picture yes but in reality I was holding a mug of tea.Sitting atop a breakfast chair in the kitchen Maybe, I’ll get the tealeaves read. That will surely predict my future!!

  • Where I Am Now — A Health Update

    Where I Am Now — A Health Update

    Some of you have been with me since the very beginning of this blog. You followed my New Beginnings diary in early 2022, when I set out to reverse my diabetes and lose weight following Dr Mosley’s 8-week blood sugar diet. You cheered me on through the 1 Million Steps Challenge for Diabetes UK. You read about the Covid isolation ward, the breathlessness, the slow walk back to fitness.

    And then I went quiet.

    So I think you deserve an honest update. Here’s where things stand.

    The diabetes

    I have been a diabetic since 1992 — over thirty years now. When I started the New Beginnings diary, my blood sugar levels were not where they needed to be and my weight had crept up to 95kg. I set myself the goal of getting to 85kg and bringing those numbers under control.

    I successfully maintained my weight, achieving a level of 90 kgs that my doctor deems acceptable. While my blood sugar levels initially fluctuated, I established a routine that stabilized them. My HbA1c readings are now within the range that doctors consider to be in acceptable control. I’m pleased with this progress, and I consistently work to keep my glucose levels in check. Adopting a healthy, high-protein, low-carbohydrate diet has been a key factor in my success. I also commit to exercising daily, even if it’s just for thirty minutes. These health challenges certainly keep me proactive and engaged in my well-being.

    The walking

    Walking became my medicine after Covid. What started as circuits around the living room — genuinely, just walking from the lounge to the kitchen and back — became 10,000 steps a day, then a million steps for Diabetes UK, then regular outings with the Windsor and District Ramblers through the most beautiful corners of Berkshire, Buckinghamshire and Hampshire.

    I left the Ramblers about two years ago to go on my adventure abroad, but I kept up with my daily walks and soaked in all the nature around me. My favourite walks happen in the gorgeous Waterloo, Ontario, Canada, and I can’t help but feel so happy every time I’m there. Whenever I visit my sister, I make sure to take in those stunning views because Canada is just so beautiful and clean. The walking trails and paths that zigzag through the estates and beyond are like a dream for any nature fan. Recently, I had an awesome time doing a circular walk from Cooper’s Hill in Englefield Green, taking in the amazing Runnymede meadows, the beautiful River Thames, and checking out three incredible memorials: the John F. Kennedy Memorial, the Magna Carta Memorial, and the Air Forces Memorial. When I need some alone time to think, I love wandering around the peaceful Runnymede meadows, where every step makes me feel more relaxed.

    The general health picture

    Overall I am in a better place than I have been for many years. The combination of walking, eating well and staying active has made a real difference. I still manage my diabetes daily — it never fully goes away — but it no longer runs my life the way it once did.

    What’s next

    I’m back to writing regularly — or at least, that’s the intention! I have stories to tell, walks to share, and plenty more to say about the ongoing business of keeping body and mind in reasonable working order as the years tick by.

    If you’ve been here from the start, thank you for sticking around. If you’re new — welcome. Pull up a chair and stay a while.

    — Anil

  • Six Years On — Life After Loss

    Six Years On — Life After Loss

    Six years. That’s how long it’s been since I lost my wife.

    August 2019. A date that is burned into me in a way that nothing else quite is. She had been ill for years — I had been her carer, her companion, her everything — and yet when the moment came, nothing truly prepares you for it. The house that had been full of her presence became something else entirely. Quieter. Heavier. A different place.

    I wasn’t sure I’d write about this. I find it easier, sometimes, to write about walking — the paths, the weather, the people I meet along the way. Walking, I’ve discovered, is a very good way of not having to sit still with your thoughts. But the thoughts find you anyway. They always do.

    The first years

    The first two years after losing her were the hardest of my life. That’s saying something, given that the years before — watching her decline, being her carer, holding everything together while quietly falling apart myself — were not easy either. But grief in those early years was total. It was in every room, every meal, every quiet evening, in the music, the TV shows, the clothing etc.

    Then Covid came, and I spent ten days in an isolation ward not knowing if I would come home. In a strange way, that experience shook something loose in me. When I was discharged and began the slow walk back to health, I made myself a promise: I was going to live. Really live. Not just get through the days.

    Six years on

    What do I say about the past six years? They have been challenging, yet deep down, I felt that she would have wanted me to embrace life and even seek companionship again. We had had conversations about this long before her illness, discussing the difficult topic of “what will you do when I die?” This was a reality we both acknowledged, regardless of who would face it first. To be candid, even with those discussions, I wasn’t truly ready for the heartache that came with her passing. According to Hindu customs, the first fifteen days of mourning seem to go by in a blur, filled with well-wishers that leave little room for personal grief. The true weight of loss hits when that support fades away, leaving an overwhelming sense of emptiness. Honestly, if it weren’t for my work, I fear I would have found it incredibly difficult to manage. Recently, my niece, who is navigating her own journey through grief, asked me how I coped, reminding me of the need for connection and understanding in these trying times.

    And truly, taking it one day at a time was how I navigated the pain of my loss and feelings of loneliness. It brings me joy to share that I’ve made significant progress, embracing a new chapter in my life since retirement, where I’ve learned to live for myself and find happiness again.

    What she would have made of all this

    I know that my wife would have felt immense pride in me. She would have celebrated my accomplishments, particularly the milestone of receiving my first medal for completing a million steps. I find myself yearning for a little self-praise, too. The Ramblers truly transformed my life; I forged new friendships, discovered hidden walking paths, and savored wonderful moments with great company. When I close my eyes and think of my wife, I envision her radiant smile, reflecting the joy that she genuinely embraced.

    Carrying on

    Grief, I’ve learned, doesn’t end. It changes shape. It becomes part of you rather than something that is happening to you. There are days when it is very heavy and days when it sits more quietly. I have learned to be grateful for both — the heavy days remind me how much she mattered, and the quieter ones remind me that I am still here.

    And I am still here. Writing, walking, getting on with it. She would have expected nothing less.

    — Anil

  • A Memorable Experience

    A Memorable Experience

    Some memories never fade; they linger in the quiet spaces of our minds, surfacing when we least expect them. This is one of those memories—an incident from 2010, when my wife and I were flying back from Mumbai, India. It was a journey that changed everything.

    We had attended a wedding before spending a blissful week in Goa. But beneath the joy of that trip, there was an undercurrent of concern. My wife was already at the onset of health issues that would go on to test us all, especially our family. We left for the airport, exhausted but ready to head home to the UK. However, traveling on staff tickets comes with its own set of uncertainties, and we soon found ourselves offloaded from our flight. The next available flight wouldn’t depart until 10 p.m., leaving us stranded at the airport at 11 a.m., weary and frustrated.

    With over fourteen hours of wakefulness behind us, exhaustion was creeping in—more so for my wife, whose health was fragile. Fortunately, one of her cousins had an apartment in Mumbai, and we decided to spend the waiting hours there. While I could sense the mounting tension, I did my best to hold it together for her sake. She managed to sleep for a couple of hours, and by evening, we made our way back to the airport.

    Finally, some good news—business class seats. It was a welcome comfort after an already taxing day. My wife, now in a wheelchair, was visibly drained. I, too, was beyond tired, but there was a sense of relief as we boarded. The flight took off on time, and as we settled into our seats, I allowed myself to drift into sleep.

    Then, barely two hours into the journey, I was jolted awake by a stewardess. My wife had suffered an epileptic fit and had lost consciousness. A call for medical assistance was made, and by sheer luck, three doctors were on board. One of them examined her and determined that her blood pressure and glucose levels were dangerously high. The co-pilot took me aside and informed me that we would have to divert to Dubai—the nearest airport.

    The moment the plane touched down, an ambulance was waiting. As my wife was rushed to the medical center, the reality of the situation hit me like a storm. The flight took off without us, leaving me alone in a foreign airport, my mind spiraling with worst-case scenarios. A hundred thoughts ran through my head, none of them comforting. But amidst the fear, there was a single hope—that she would wake up.

    And then, she did.

    As she opened her eyes in the stark white hospital room, she turned to me, confusion flickering in her gaze.

    “What are you doing here?” she asked. “Am I dead?”

    For a moment, I was taken aback. Then I realized—the pristine white walls, the nurses, the doctors in white coats—she thought she was in heaven. I almost laughed, despite everything.

    She was later transferred to a local hospital, where a thorough check-up, including a CT scan, revealed the truth—two lesions on her front temporal lobe. One from a mini-stroke she had suffered in 2005, the other from untreated epilepsy. It was a revelation that deepened the weight of what she had been silently battling.

    Throughout this ordeal, one unexpected presence stood by our side—the British Airways Area Manager. She remained with us, offering support beyond what duty required. In those dark hours, her kindness was a beacon.

    We eventually made it home, safe but forever changed. This experience left me questioning what unseen forces were at play that night, and what higher power might have been watching over us. Because, looking back, I know—it could have been much worse.

    I write this now because I dreamt of it. The memory surfaced, vivid and unshakable, taking me back to those uncertain hours. And with it came the reminder of my wife—her strength, her resilience, and the life we shared. She passed away in 2019, but moments like these keep her alive in my heart.

    Some memories never fade. Some stories demand to be told.

  • 1 Million Step Challenge-Week 3-4

    1 Million Step Challenge-Week 3-4

    The challenge is still in full swing and I have managed to rack up over 250k steps in three weeks, which averages at 10k steps a day. That means I am on target to achieve over 300k steps by the end of July. The steps challenge is for between 500k to 1.7 million steps over a period of three months from July to September, which I am sure to have mentioned previously. I am feeling energetic and look forward to my walks with the Windsor&District Ramblers group. The walks are varied visiting all over Berkshire and beyond. The people I walk with are different on many of the walks so there is always the opportunity to meet new people and talk about different things. The age range is quite broad. Young and old alike, but some of the veteran ramblers’ fitness levels are way beyond mine, but I think I am getting there.

    These past couple of weeks have taken me on many new and well-trodden walks from my previous ones.

    I have walked in quite a few places in Berkshire and Buckinghamshire as well as a walk in the Hampshire town of Lymington, near the New Forest. Every time I went on a walk with the Ramblers or on my own, I felt I was discovering parts of the South that I never knew existed. I made mental notes about which walk would be my favourite, and quite often had to keep changing my mind as all the walks were in places I would love to visit again, going through woodlands and trails that have been rediscovered by the Ramblers all over the UK and made accessible to the public and I believe some 49000 miles of public access routes have been mapped through fields, private land, and the National Trust sites, gardens etc.

    If it weren’t for the wonderful work of the Ramblers and other walking organisations around the UK, these paths and trails and wooded trail walks would not exist.

    These are some of the photos that have helped me to reach the first milestone of 310k steps

    I’m into August now. And the steps target of an average of 10k per day is still on. In my next instalment, I will cover the number of steps achieved and where I have been to reach the daily goals.

  • 1 Million Step Challenge- week 2

    1 Million Step Challenge- week 2

    Day 12, Tuesday, took me on a walk with the ramblers group, to the Chess Valley walk in Amersham Buckinghamshire. This was led by Raj and Joyce. There were only four of us on this walk, which was not that easy for me as we had to climb up and down a couple of steep hills. However, I did manage to complete the walk and felt proud to have achieved this. Some of the scenery of the woods and valleys was very nice.

    Day 13 Wednesday. It was so hot today, that I did not leave the house until late evening and only went to the shops. Consequently the walking today was not my usual and the count was low. On Thursday 14th of July, the walk was arranged around the beautiful Virginia Water parkland and its large wonderful lake. Virginia Water has some very good paths to walk on a very nice cafe near a good picnic area under some large trees.

    Friday, we rested. and On Saturday 16th of July, the Ramblers group had arranged a trip with two walks in Lymington, New Forest, Hampshire. It was quite a warm day after the end of term so the roads were extremely busy and so was Lymington. The town was very busy. But the walk that I went on was for about 5 miles around the salt flats and marshlands. This area is a haven for birds and sometimes, unusual species can be spotted here.

  • 1 Million steps Challenge- Day 7

    1 Million steps Challenge- Day 7

    This is the pond at Burnham Beeches. It was part of our walk through this parkland which has a rich history.

    We started our walk from the Beeches cafe and went north as guided by our very informative and knowledgeable Chris. She explained the route we were going to take and where there would be interesting sites to see and learn about. For me personally, the walk was a little tough because I am not used to hilly climbs, but did manage to finish the whole course. I will post pictures rather than words, which are self-explanatory about the beauty of this historic place. I also managed to add just over 10 thousand steps on this 3.8-mile walk towards my diabetes.UK challenge of a million steps by the end of September 2022.

    From next week, I will do weekly postings so as not make this journey boring and too lengthy. I’m hoping that all my followers will keep supporting and liking the blog so I can grow and write about more diverse topics as well.

    https://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/visiting-woods/woods/burnham-beeches/

  • 1 Million steps challenge- Day 6

    1 Million steps challenge- Day 6

    What a day. Today’s walk was a new area for me, which I was going to do with the Windsor & District Rambler’s Group. I have been doing these walks with the group since June 2nd 2022. We had a walk planned in Dedworth near Windsor, taking us into Fifield through fields and farmland with public access routes. The weather was just right. Not too hot and a slight breeze that kept us cool. We walked through fields of broad beans and also where some grains were growing, a variety that I am not sure of.

    The above photos show some of these fields. There was a lot more to see on our 7 plus miles walk. We went through polo playing fields where quite a few polo ponies were grazing and some were being exercised. And also through a small pig and sheep farm.

    As we went through all these wonderful open spaces, we came across a lane where there were some nice houses with wonderful gardens. And one of them, the owners were tending to their very large but well maintained garden, and were kind enough to invite us to take a look. They were an extremely nice couple and were very proud of the way they had kept their garden so well

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    And finally, before we made our way to the last stretch of the walk after more than two hours of traipsing through fields and lanes, crossing some roads as well. we ended up at Oakley Green Cemetary. This was a route through to the main road that would take us back to Tinkers Lane from where we had started our walk. More pictures …

    Now, this was the final leg of the walk, no pun intended! After more than 7 miles, a little worn and with some of us with aching feet, we made our way to the starting point, from we said our good-byes and departed, each to their own, until the next walk. And not too distant either as it is taking place at Burnham Beeches. More on that tomorrow!