Category: Stories

Longer personal narratives and memories worth telling

  • A Memorable Experience

    A Memorable Experience

    Some memories never fade; they linger in the quiet spaces of our minds, surfacing when we least expect them. This is one of those memories—an incident from 2010, when my wife and I were flying back from Mumbai, India. It was a journey that changed everything.

    We had attended a wedding before spending a blissful week in Goa. But beneath the joy of that trip, there was an undercurrent of concern. My wife was already at the onset of health issues that would go on to test us all, especially our family. We left for the airport, exhausted but ready to head home to the UK. However, traveling on staff tickets comes with its own set of uncertainties, and we soon found ourselves offloaded from our flight. The next available flight wouldn’t depart until 10 p.m., leaving us stranded at the airport at 11 a.m., weary and frustrated.

    With over fourteen hours of wakefulness behind us, exhaustion was creeping in—more so for my wife, whose health was fragile. Fortunately, one of her cousins had an apartment in Mumbai, and we decided to spend the waiting hours there. While I could sense the mounting tension, I did my best to hold it together for her sake. She managed to sleep for a couple of hours, and by evening, we made our way back to the airport.

    Finally, some good news—business class seats. It was a welcome comfort after an already taxing day. My wife, now in a wheelchair, was visibly drained. I, too, was beyond tired, but there was a sense of relief as we boarded. The flight took off on time, and as we settled into our seats, I allowed myself to drift into sleep.

    Then, barely two hours into the journey, I was jolted awake by a stewardess. My wife had suffered an epileptic fit and had lost consciousness. A call for medical assistance was made, and by sheer luck, three doctors were on board. One of them examined her and determined that her blood pressure and glucose levels were dangerously high. The co-pilot took me aside and informed me that we would have to divert to Dubai—the nearest airport.

    The moment the plane touched down, an ambulance was waiting. As my wife was rushed to the medical center, the reality of the situation hit me like a storm. The flight took off without us, leaving me alone in a foreign airport, my mind spiraling with worst-case scenarios. A hundred thoughts ran through my head, none of them comforting. But amidst the fear, there was a single hope—that she would wake up.

    And then, she did.

    As she opened her eyes in the stark white hospital room, she turned to me, confusion flickering in her gaze.

    “What are you doing here?” she asked. “Am I dead?”

    For a moment, I was taken aback. Then I realized—the pristine white walls, the nurses, the doctors in white coats—she thought she was in heaven. I almost laughed, despite everything.

    She was later transferred to a local hospital, where a thorough check-up, including a CT scan, revealed the truth—two lesions on her front temporal lobe. One from a mini-stroke she had suffered in 2005, the other from untreated epilepsy. It was a revelation that deepened the weight of what she had been silently battling.

    Throughout this ordeal, one unexpected presence stood by our side—the British Airways Area Manager. She remained with us, offering support beyond what duty required. In those dark hours, her kindness was a beacon.

    We eventually made it home, safe but forever changed. This experience left me questioning what unseen forces were at play that night, and what higher power might have been watching over us. Because, looking back, I know—it could have been much worse.

    I write this now because I dreamt of it. The memory surfaced, vivid and unshakable, taking me back to those uncertain hours. And with it came the reminder of my wife—her strength, her resilience, and the life we shared. She passed away in 2019, but moments like these keep her alive in my heart.

    Some memories never fade. Some stories demand to be told.

  • Cancer Changed My Life. Pt 2

    As I entered the house, my first thought was to protect Mum from my fears. Her own fragile state of mind needed careful handling. I went into the lounge and sat down. We had some normal chit chat and then I got up to make some tea and sandwiches. As I entered the lounge with a tray in my hands, I saw immediately that Mum was having an epileptic fit and was frothing at the mouth. She was semi conscious.Once again,I felt that lonely dread,but quickly gathered my emotions and rang for an ambulance.It was the 2nd of April 2007. And it was about four in the afternoon. I followed the ambulance back to the hospital that I had had only left a short time back. My mind was  racing here and there. Loneliness engulfed me.In the rush to get to Mum to hospital,I had forgotten to call a family member for help. Mitesh was in North London and Rakhi was at her college. No one could have got to me in time except my sisters or Brother. But I didn’t want to panic anyone into rushing to the Hospital in case Mum got released soon from there.

    My problems had taken a back burner. I didn’t know which way this was going to play. I had my pre assessment as well at the very same hospital tomorrow! How am I going to cope with all this and what is happening.Mum got admitted to Ward 9 west at the Hospital and she was on a drip and on oxygen. Her state of health was not good, but I had to leave her there and go home.

    Early next morning,3rd April,I attended my pre assessment for my operation to remove one of my tonsils. Everything was arranged and then I went to Ward 9 west for my visit to see how Mum was. She was sat up in bed looking a little worse for wear,but better than yesterday. I sat down next to her and was immediately lost in deep thought.What is tomorrow going to bring? How bad is the cancer ? How long ? Can’t bear the thought. I’m already worried about how my family are going to cope without me. I’m worried deeply about Mum. She doesn’t have the mental capacity to cope. Her memory is not good. She has not been able to look after herself at all without any help. She doesn’t even dress herself like she used to. And then Tish and Rakhi. What will become of them? Try as I must, I can’t dispel these negative frame of my mind. I am numb with fear but having to show bravado that doesn’t exist ! Putting on a brave face is not easy in these circumstances.But try I must.

    Late evening, I get ready to go back to an empty house.My thoughts are stuck in one place. Tomorrow, 4th April. Big day. I do my daily prayers and ask for guidance and strength to cope. I have not discussed my problems in detail with anyone as yet apart from Bipin. He knows my troubles up to a point. I haven’t told Tish or Rakhi yet.

    I arrive at the hospital and go to Ward 3. I am being prepared for the operation that will determine the type of cancer and at what stage it is. I’m lying on the operating table and the nurses are chatting away nicely at me. I can’t remember when I fell asleep after the anathestic was administered. I can remember being woken up and told to sit up. There is only a slight soreness in my throat. I’m offered a cup of tea and some toast. I’ve got to eat.I’m also a diabetic.! About midday I’m told I can leave. The operation was successful,and results should be available in a few days.The numbness in my head doesn’t go away. The negative thoughts are never ending. All I can see ahead is doom and gloom.

    As I enter Ward 9 west, I am once again forced to change my demeanour. Mum musn’t have any clue to my troubles. Her state of health hasn’t improved. She has already been here 3 days.I don’t know how much longer she will have to remain in hospital..She has many battles to overcome. And mine are just beginning !

    I’m not about to be defeated though. I’ve already accepted that I have to fight this demon and win the battle ,and come out of it to move forward in our lives. The road is a long haul and so many obstacles to overcome.

  • Cancer Changed My Life Pt 1

    When I walked out of the consultant’s room and met Bally the senior Nurse,I knew that my whole life was about to change. Nothing was confirmed. No MRI scans had been done,no blood tests nor did I feel anything at all. No illness,no temperature,no blood pressure,no nothing apart from the fact that I found swallowing food difficult.

    So Bally hands me a form to have an MRI scan within a week,and as we were coming up to the Easter bank holiday weekend,It was surprising how quickly Bally was able to arrange things. This is when I knew. As I had stepped out from the consultants room,I had known.And I was so afraid. My heart was pumping like a steam engine at full throttle.

    Suddenly, there were a million thoughts running through my mind. Thoughts of my wife whom I call Mum. A son and my Daughter. Then there were my sisters, Brothers, in-laws and the list went on. Then they were about the house. Followed by a million what ifs.

    I was dumbstruk. I got in the car and tears were welling up in my eyes. I’m asking that great Man in the heavens above..WHY me ? I was on autopilot.

    I sat behind the steering wheel,started the car and drove out of the hospital car park.

    On the way home,those thoughts running through my head were getting worse.I couldn’t possibly put them all down on paper.

    I don’t remember when I got home. But I parked the car as I usually do,half on and off the pavement. I picked up the mobile from the dashboard and instinctively dialed a number I knew would respond.

    When he picked up the phone, I immediately broke down. I couldn’t carry on.The lump in my throat felt like a large rock stuck there.It was choking me .

    He was panicking at the other end of the phone.Very controlled as always.”What is the matter,I’m coming over”.”No I said”.First words spoken since I drove from the hospital. “I think I have Cancer “

    I’m coming over” Again I said “No I need time to think. I’ll call you.”

    Are you sure,I think you need someone.”

    “I know but I need to be alone for a few minutes before going inside the house”

    ” OK ! Look if you need I’ll be there as soon as you call”

    “Thanks, I know you will, bye for now”

    And with that I ended the call. I sat for what seemed an eternity ,looking at the sky and the passing traffic. But in reality, I was there only a couple of minutes. I had to go home. I had left Mum by herself. She was ill herself and I’d been gone long enough. Time to get back to routine. I didn’t know then, but this one 20 minute appointment with Ear Nose and Throat specialist would change the course and thinking of my life ahead………………………..!