I suddenly woke up in the morning a few mornings ago. Something different about the feel around me. Too silent. Then I realised that there must be a power cut as the ceiling fans were not turning. The small lamp in the corner was off too, which was unusual as it’s always on through the night. There was a dull and dark feeling in the room.
I got out of bed gingerly as I had a slipped disc and needed to be careful. I noticed that the freezer in the kitchen was off too. Then I realised that there must be a power cut, so I got the keys and with my walking stick and night slippers on, I went out to see if it was a powercut all around the neighbourhood. I knocked on my neighbour’s door and before I could ask the question, Lorraine said yes, it is a power cut. I exchanged a few pleasantries and then said goodbye and walked back to my house.
When I got back insideI got my mobile phone to call the energy supply company but I could not get a signal. The home phone was unusable due to the power cut. So once again, I walked carefully to the front door and into the porch. The inner door was ajar by at least a foot.
I found the energy company’s phone number and called them As I was doing so, I faced out of the porch to see if the signal was better. Eventually, I got a signal and the phone started to ring out. All of a sudden, the inner door shut behind me as if somebody had pushed the door shut ! I was locked out as I had left the keys on the kitchen counter. How will I get back inside? I am in my slippers and my pyjamas stuck in the porch ! I called the house phone to call my wife but of course, it wasn’t working. Suddenly I remembered I had a credit card in the mobile phone’s sleeve. I was already feeling like a burglar and standing up straight was difficult due to the back pain. I put the card in the gap where the latch was and fiddled about until the door opened. What a relief. I immediately sat down on the armchair and breathed a sigh of relief, and then the eerie feeling dawned on me. How did the door slam behind me?
I remembered other small incidents in the past few days too. Like a loaf of bread falling from the top of the bread bin onto the kitchen counter. An empty plastic bottle that was left on the window sill for recycling had also dropped to the floor.Strange noises throughout the day as well, especially when it was quiet. I could hear somebody walking upstairs and always thought it was my wife but when I checked, it wasn’t her.Each time I was alone downstairs in the living room!
A great day out at the Explore and Discover day at the Engineering base at Heathrow. Amazing presentations and shows lined up for all tastes. I particularly enjoyed the simulator experience that my son and grand daughter went on. Also managed to get Harsha on it as well. The sun was out, atmosphere fantastic and very enjoyable. Saw a Michael Jackson tribute act…I’m sure after seeing this ,he’s in hiding somewhere!!!
I went to bed quite late the other night. I was on a very early start for work and needed a much deserved sleep prior to facing another challenging day. As I lay in bed looking at the ceiling where luminous stars had been stuck to imitate the starry night outside, my mind kept wondering to a what if situation. I kept thinking back to 1972 when I first landed in my country of residence with only the clothes on our backs. My mind was wondering if I had settled somewhere else instead of Leicester, where would I be today. I had started work at the tender age of fifteen and a half ! I had lied to get the job and told them I was sixteen.
So I suddenly wake up, or had I slept at all even? I could not for the life of me close my eyes and not think of “what If”.
And the what if’s of our lives can bring either miserly depression or a happiness not known to me . I kept thinking about my place of residence. What if I had moved to my choice area.But I needed consent. I was brought up in a house where even as an adult, I would seek permission do do even the simplest of things,like make a decision. A decision that would have changed my life and those around me. The stars were bright again. They shone in the darkness of the room. My eyes were open again. A quick glance at the wall clock. 03.30 am. ! Two hours and I’m at work.
Eyes closed again. Thoughts are astray, it’s that “what if ” question again. And so many of the what ifs keep trundling through my brain like a runaway train. It’s non stop. I can’t apply the brakes because I like the what ifs. They are much better than my current status. So what if wins for tonight. It’s taking over my life tonight.
Another bright star in my eyes. It’s bright yellow. But still on my bedroom ceiling.Another wish shattered. I think a cloud should hide them stars. Maybe it should rain while I’m looking up. I’ll wake up drenched and see reality.
The time is 4.45am Time to jump out of bed as the alarm goes off in unison to my thoughts. As I open my eyes for the millionth time tonight, the over whelming” what if” comes back to haunt me. I know the rest of my sleep depraved day is going to keep the” what if” alive and well.!!
I take a deep breath. I look around. Rub my eyes and look at the ceiling. Tired, yes but not out yet. Then it suddenly dawns on me ( no pun intended) . What if this was just a dream. !